Things We Carried
by Malcontent Ash
Summary: Neither Logan nor Scott had ever been the same after the death of Jean Grey, and three years after her death they find themselves drinking together in a bar. Insults are thrown, secrets are spilled, and regrets will be had.


"I can't believe it's been three years," Scott sighed, tracing a cold finger along the rim of his drink. He grimaced as his sleeve stuck slightly to the dirty wooden bar and Logan lit up another cigar beside him. The reasonable only reasonable thing to do was head back to the manor, but another drink or two in this filthy bar in this Podunk town seemed a lot easier than hauling himself back to the mansion to spend another night alone in that big bed. The mansion had always felt like home, but now it was just an empty reminder of the life that could have been. He cradled his head between his hands.

"I was gonna marry her someday," he muttered, more to himself than to anyone else. _How did everything go so wrong?_ Logan only chuckled darkly around the lip of his glass. He tipped the glass up, letting the searing liquid rush down his throat as Scott glared at him. He slid the glass toward the bartender nonchalantly.

"What? What could you possibly find funny about that?" Scott's head buzzed angrily, and his fists twitched anxiously, ready for a fight. Logan only shrugged. Normally he'd be enjoying that indignant scowl on Scott's pretty boy face, but not tonight.

"You weren't going to marry her," he sighed, and Scott bristled at the certainty in Logan's voice. _How could he possibly know something like that? Do you really want to fight over this now? _Logan watched as the bartender poured him another glass of scotch. Bitterness twisted deep in Scott's stomach.

"I was at least better than you," he promised, twisting the knife in deep. Logan growled lowly at the confrontation. Animalistic eyes narrowed warningly.

"At playing heroes and holding hands when Charlie's back was turned, but she was growing out of you fast," he snarled as his nose wrinkled in disgust. Behind his visor, Scott rolled his eyes.

"Oh, don't give me this chauvinistic man's man crap."

"No, Summers. You're a man's man alright," Logan raised an eyebrow pointedly as a depreciating smirk slid off his face. Scott choked slightly, face flushing with embarrassment and anger. Before his mind caught up with what he was doing he'd slipped off his barstool and was glowering down at the shorter man. Slightly curious eyes studied them through a haze of stale cigarette smoke.

"And what's that supposed to mean?" The room spun slightly around his feet but the indignation helped to cut through the fog which had settled in his mind. The shorter man rummaged through his pockets pulling out a couple of twenties and sliding them under the edge of his glass.

"Forget it, Scott. It's nice to know that some things haven't changed," Logan grumbled, straightening a denim jacket around his broad shoulders. He turned his back on the taller man, but his shoulders remained tense, ready for a potential fight. He got out the door and down the street before strong hands gripped his collar and shoved him against the wall. Scott's visor glowered in the dark and he licked his lips with a grimace, leaning in close.

"If you've got something to say, Wolfboy…" Warm breath tickled the hairs on Wolverine's neck, his hackles instinctually rising. The sharp smell of alcohol burning his sensitive nose helped to keep him in control of his instincts for the moment. Beneath that, only slightly more subtle was the heavy, heady scent of Scott. Wolverine licked his lips subconsciously.

"You want to do this? Fine. You know why you and Jeany could never get past waist level?" Scott's heartbeat thrummed in his ears. "You're gay, Scott. You're as queer as Charles is bald." In the darkness all Logan could see was red as Scott's visor glowed threateningly. Laughter broke the thumping rhythm of Scott's heart. "Go ahead, kid. Do it. Blow my head off. It won't change anything," Logan swallowed wetly. "I can practically taste the pheromones pouring off you. Like it or not, this is getting you hot. I don't even like guys and you smell so good that even I'd take you."

Hands tightened around his throat and pushed him back harder against the wall. Scott was absolutely seething as he forced Logan's jaw up for a kiss that was all teeth. A wet tongue flicked against his lower lip and he accepted it with a harsh bite. His senses filled with scotch and smoke, rich, deep and warm, as slender hands loosened his stranglehold on Logan's neck. Their positions were reversed as thick muscles forced him hard against the wall, jarring him and making his head ache. The wall was cold against his back while warm hands gripped his waist and a hard length pressed a little too forcefully against his leg.

"Last chance, Slim. We really doin' this?" Wolverine studied him, almost smugly, waiting for Xavier's perfect student to realize what he was doing and where. Scott only sneered in response.

"Don't patronize me," Scott all but spat at the shorter mutant. Considering that valid consent, Wolverine pressed forward, using his bulk to overpower the lankier frame. A thick thigh nudged between Scott's thin legs, and lightening raced through his body. It was like he was being electrocuted and every nerve ending was screaming. This was nothing like it was with Jean. Gentle hands and childish curiosity were all but gone now, and he forced the memories of Jean back.

"Ahh," his breath caught as Logan rolled his hips. _This isn't right. I never intended for this… It's so much more. I should be stopping this. Kicking Logan's ass… something. _His sharp teeth clamped down hard on the heated flesh of Logan's shoulder, and his fingers grasped the denim jacket almost hard enough to tear.

Strong hands pulled at his shirt with a clear warning he could practically hear Logan growling in his ear. _If you want the shirt in one piece, lose it now, Bub. _Calloused fingers tickling the hair below his belly button convinced him, and his slipped the tight turtleneck over his shoulders. Cool air tickled his chest, pointing his nipples stiffly while Logan breathed him deeply. Glancing down, Scott caught eyes with Logan for a second, black pupils blown and eyes feral before a large hand gripped his erection.

"Hngh," he huffed, a little too high and desperate. Scrambling for control, Scott tugged at the button of Logan's jeans, feeling the grip on his neck slack almost instantly as he sunk to his knees. How many times he had imagined this in his early teens and choked the desire down. He hated the pity he sometimes saw in Xavier's eyes and had done everything he could to be perfect so he'd never see it again. _What would Xavier think of me now? _It sickened him how little he thought this display would have surprised the elder telepath. A harsh grip on his hair brought him back to reality as the Wolverine started losing patience. He could feel himself grow harder as Logan pushed him closer.

He dragged the zipper down, utterly unsurprised to find that Wolverine wasn't wearing underwear. Coarse black hairs ticked his nose as he used a hand to coax the thick erection out. The smell was warm and the musky odor made his mouth water. His tongue tested the underside enthusiastically, appreciating the weight. It was thick and full, but before he could adjust to the taste and size of it, Logan's thumbs were pressing the hollows of his cheeks and thrusting deep inside. The back of his throat grew warm and salty with precum and the force caused Scott to choke. Unaffected, Logan didn't slow his pace, pressing forward while running his fingers through Scott's soft, brown hair and cooing.

"C'mon, boyscout," his voice was choked and guttural. He moaned appreciatively as Scott tried to swallow some of the saliva that was running down his chin.

"Finish me and I'll show you somethin' real good," Logan promised, petting Scott's head as unwilling tears ran down his cheeks. He used one hand to steady himself as he cupped his erection, swallowing down as much of Logan as he could. He moaned under the firm hands, pushing him to take more and he rubbed himself to Logan's praise.

A small grunt was all the warning Logan gave as the pulled back letting hot semen fill Scott's mouth. He reeled, surprised by the bitter taste of the sticky fluid. As he was leaning over to spit it out, a large hand covered his mouth. He allowed the fluid to slide a little further back in his throat.

"Do it Summers," Logan growled softly, somewhere between an encouragement and a demand. He could see the satisfaction in those blown pupils as his throat bobbed, forcing the liquid down.

"Good boy," Logan snarled, gripping his hair tight and dragging him up until his face was pressed against the dirty alley wall. His hands were forced over his head as Logan used his free hand to work his pants off his hips. Logan pressed his wrists tightly before letting go, wordlessly commanding him to stay put. Scott cleared his throat, nerves gripping tightly around his already woozy stomach.

"Uh, Logan?" The man sunk to his knees behind him, forcing his cheeks apart. His body stiffened immediately as hot breath tickled the tight hole. _This is too much. God, this is embarrassing._

"Shut up and enjoy yourself for once," Logan grumbled almost affectionately, before warm hands forced his legs as wide as they could be without slipping his pants off his ankles and stretched his cheeks wider to allow Logan's tongue to flick across the tight ring of muscle.

"Oh, God," Scott cried, completely rigid with sensation. Soft warmth circled him wetly, coating the ring before thrusting inside. "Hngh," he moaned, arching his back to allow Logan to give him more. Inside, the tongue curled lightly before flicking out, stroking him from the inside. He could only whine slightly as it pulled back, allowing a thick finger to slip inside. Maybe once or twice when he was alone he'd tried slipping a long, slender finger inside, but Logan's hands were much brawnier. A tongue traced around it, pressing the ring firmly to help stretch it for another finger. When Scott didn't relax any more, Logan retracted the finger slowly, giving the walls time to tighten around him and allowing his thick skin to stroke the entirety of the opening before pressing quickly back inside. The breath forced its way out of Scott's lungs as the digit thrust inside. It was a little tight and awkward, but it felt so natural for him to arch and press back, waiting for a little more, deeper. The second digit was tighter, and he could he could feel a slight ache starting in his lower back as they pressed deep inside. His oversensitive insides numbed slightly, tingling with pleasure. He was sucking the digits in, waiting for the stretched feeling to return as Logan wriggled his ring finger inside.

"Hmmngh," he complained slightly as the tightness started to pinch. Logan pulled back, rewetting his fingers before standing up and pressing back inside. The angle was different now, slanted upward and pressing against something deeper inside.

"Ahh," Scott rolled his hips backward, desperate to repeat the motion. Logan hummed happily, thrusting harder as Scott's hips rolled back to meet his knuckles.

"Thought you might like that," he sneered against an ear. Logan was rough and brusque, forcing Scott a little more this way or that, and controlling him in a way he hadn't known he wanted. Scott lowered a hand slightly, seeing if Logan would prevent him from touching himself. He only grunted, pulling out before spitting into his hands and coating himself. With his healing factor raging, he was already painfully hard again, rubbing some of the saliva off his tip as he nudged the pink ring. With a firm hand guiding Scott's hips backward, he pressed inside slowly. The brunette hissed beneath him, using his free hand to grip Logan's hair.

"You got this, Summers. Relax. It'll feel good in a second." Logan guided himself deeper, ignoring Scott's throaty complaints as he tried to accommodate the excessive girth. The first thrust was hard as Scott tried to clamp down as Logan pulled back, sucking him in almost painfully. He growled, gripping a slender shoulder for control as he pressed back inside.

"You're doin' good, kid. Takin' it like a champ," Logan praised, noticing the way Scott relaxed in response.

"F-Fuck." Logan held him firmly, thrusting at a brutal pace and leaving him breathless. His body accepted the beating, throbbing with a white heat. He gripped himself stroking roughly and feeling himself tighten every time Logan grunted above him. _More. Control me. _

A tight grip pulled his head to the side as Logan cornered him further against the wall. He thrust deep and hard, barely pulling back before snapping his hips forward again. Logan's teeth sinking into his neck as the strong form pushed him for everything he had sent him over the edge. Pleasure, white hot and electric burned inside him. Warm semen soaked his hand, dripping down his shaft and soaking his balls. He could feel himself clamp down around Logan, contracting and relaxing in quick succession as he finished. Logan growled low in his ear, thrusting more sporadic and shallow as the writhing heat dragged him to climax. An almost uncomfortable warmth filled Scott's ass, dripping slightly as Logan pulled out. He felt beyond filthy as the thick liquid started to cool between his legs. He could feel Logan studying him, mussed hair and flushed skin as semen dripped from his ass. He couldn't contain a shiver.

Logan had already tucked himself away and was handing him a shirt by the time he pulled his jeans back over his hips. The alley suddenly felt a lot colder than it had a minute ago and he snatched his shirt back, feeling startlingly sobered by the understanding of what had just happened. He couldn't look Logan in the eye and he turned to face the wall to put his shirt back on and pull himself together.

"Uh… Listen, Slim," Logan stretched behind him, scratching his neck guiltily.

"No. I don't want to… talk. I need to go home." Scott turned, his body numb and aching as he started the long walk toward the manor.

"Should I call you a ride?" Logan offered, placing a tentative hand on the bonier shoulder. He shrugged the hand off, shaking his head.

"No. I need to sober up a little more before—" _facing anyone. _Logan nodded. "Just—" _don't be there when I get back. _There was a motel fairly close by where Logan could spend the night. He shrugged slightly, heading toward it and giving Scott some space.

"Don't disappear again. We can deal with this tomorrow." _Give me a day or so to figure this out. _Scott ran his fingers through his hair like he always did when he was stressed. It didn't seem to bother Logan as much as it normally did. "I-Uh…" _Thanks? Enjoyed it? Don't hate either of us as much as I probably should right now? _

"Yeah. Seeya, Scott." Logan nodded slightly before walking away. He watched the broad shoulders a little longer than necessary before turning to start his own three mile trek back to where he could catch a bus home. He could feel the familiar buzz of his anxiety like static around the edges, but he couldn't conjure up the guilt like he normally could. Whether it was Jean, the mission, the team… This didn't fit in with the ideal that he'd always worked to become. The dark part of his mind where he hid the gnawing guilt about being different, even among mutants, couldn't quite torture him right now. He didn't feel good about what he'd done in a dirty back alleyway with Wolverine and he sure as hell didn't look forward to dealing with it tomorrow, but he didn't feel that horrible about it either. Maybe the alcohol was helping to calm the neurotic, perfectionist side of him that had all kinds of horrible things to say about him and what he'd done, but right now, he actually felt a little better than he had in a long while.


End file.
